A language is like a tree. New words are fresh leaves that sprout in spring. Arcane or rarely used words are dying leaves that trees shed to make room for growth.
It’s
always spring for wannabe neologists (someone who coins new words), their urge
to conjure words as propulsive and purposeful as sap rising in a tree.
With
that as context, and in the belief that they reflect the zeitgeist, here are ten
words I humbly submit for possible acceptance into the language in due time. If
even one sees the light of day … well, let’s not get ahead of ourselves. The
only thing I will say is that these coinages are from me and not from any
algorithm, AI-driven or otherwise.
1. edunada
Noun
- A teacher continuing to teach way past his or her prime.
(Justification: Teachers, mostly in their 70s, 80s, and even 90s, are damaging, sometimes even destroying, the lives of students with their rambling, senseless lectures and cringe-inducing styles. It is high time that the tenure system protecting such teachers is abolished, given the incalculable harm done to future generations. By hanging around, these edunadas also prevent young, gifted teachers from entering the teaching profession.)
“Edunadas shouldn’t even be allowed on campus if we value the mental health and academic progress of our students.”
2. xreaper
Noun - A student who equates algebra with death.
(Justification: One objective of algebra is to solve for the unknown ‘x’ (not to be confused with a social media platform formerly known as Twitter) in an equation. In my years of teaching math, I have witnessed how ‘x’ can terrorize some students. For them, algebra is like coming face-to-face with the Grim Reaper.)
“After tutoring an xreaper for months, I finally managed to rid him of his irrational fear of algebra.”
3. hollowchili
Noun - Someone who talks big but has no work ethic and is going nowhere.
(Justification:
We encounter this type frequently these days, the hollowchilis who
mesmerize us with grandiose plans to save the world but have no capacity for
even a day’s worth of hard work. Lazy to the bone and worse than blowhards.)
“Puncturing the balloon of a hollowchili is a service to humanity.”
4. eelpeel
Noun - A thought that nags you but slips away when you try to grasp it.
(Justification: As a fan of thrillers - books and movies - I find eelpeels where something important nags the sleuth but skitters away when she tries to catch it. Just when the ‘whodunit’ seems impossible to crack, the eelpeel surrenders and the mystery is solved. Slippery as an eel but once a layer is peeled off, there it is, the ‘obvious’ clue everyone missed.)
“The detective felt an eelpeel she hoped would be the key to the mystery when grasped.”
5. dopadope
Noun - Anyone addicted to social media and online shopping and boasts about it.
(Justification: With a nod to Muhammad Ali’s rope-a-dope tactic when he leaned against the rope, allowing his opponent to flail away and exhaust himself. Ali then moved in to deliver the knockout punch. Social media and online shopping may release temporary dopamine but the result is always the same: dopamine seekers turn into dopes.)
“My dopadope friends are beginning to resemble zombies.”
6. holyhoot
Noun - Babies who are smarter than their parents.
(Justification: We see this phenomenon more and more, in cribs and corridors, homes and hospitals, parks and playgrounds. The mind-blowing foolishness of parents so stuns these smart babies, they forget even to cry.)
“The
holyhoot rolled her eyes,
stricken by the absurd actions of her parents.”
7. sadglow
Noun - Talented people who underestimate themselves and suffer indignities from stupid people who overestimate themselves.
(Justification:
It’s heartbreaking to see clueless idiots lecturing sadglows who know vastly more
but choose to suffer in silence. They should know that suffering fools in
silence or even gladly is not a virtue but a vice.)
“My sadglow cousin finally put the family’s asinine loudmouths in their places.”
8. hodalkutkut
Noun - A singularly inept husband.
(Justification: Some husbands are unable to do the simplest manual tasks: Measure the height of a door to see if the furniture can come through without slipping and fracturing the hip; Fill up a birdbath with water without cracking it; Clean a cooking pan without permanently damaging it. They sometimes make wives wail like banshees. Some words suggest their meaning by the silly or strange way they are pronounced. This one belongs to that category.)
“Tell that hodalkutkut husband of yours you will drop him in the middle of the ocean from a helicopter unless he gets his act together, literally.”
9. bircue
Noun
- A combination of biryani and barbecue to celebrate the holidays.
(Justification: Cuisines are undergoing a global fusion. Bircue is as simple as it gets. Place the aromatic combo of basmati rice, spicy meat and vegetable next to the familiar barbecue, eat the two together and exult.)
“May
your July 4th be a festive one with family, friends, fireworks and
plenty of bircue.”
10. showshove
Noun
- Murderous rage felt by a shoe salesperson unable to satisfy a client after
countless fittings.
(Justification: This is a common scene from around the world wherever shoes are sold. An exhausted salesperson sits on the floor with at least twenty pairs of black, blue, brown, white and red shoes of various designs scattered around him. The smug lady dismisses one pair after another – too tight, wrong color, ugly looking – and nonchalantly orders the guy to fetch another pair while scrolling on her smartphone. Suddenly, for a few seconds, the mask of civility slips from his face, replaced by the cold-blooded look of a strangler. He tightens his grip around a shoe near his reach and counts. Alas, the fraught moments pass, the civility mask returns and the about-to-be strangler resumes his fruitless search for a pair that fits.)
“When
interviewing a potential shoe salesperson, make sure he is not prone to showshove, even if it acts as a
release in some situations.”
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